The Gift of Giving

I had wanted to publish this particular post before Christmas Day but three kids and a sleep deprived wife put paid to that idea… I was thinking about the whole present giving thing which is obviously very common at this time of year. It’s interesting now seeing it, and Christmas more generally, from a new, third perspective. The first perspective is mainly the receiving of presents and the wider Christmas experience (childhood), the second is much more focused on the exchange of presents and where you contribute to making Christmas happen (early adulthood), and the third is as a parent where you are often watching other (very generous) people giving presents to your prodigy, and where you are much more involved in the providing of the Christmas experience.

During that first experience I recall the quantity of presents being the most important thing – my brothers and I always counted up our “main” (not stocking filler) presents each year, and then tried to eke them out over not just Christmas Day, but also Boxing Day and even December 27th in some years.

In the second phase the quality of the present became much more important; I am a firm believer in the system that my family-in-law have instituted over the last few years where you pull a single name out of a hat in September, then everybody writes a letter to Santa Claus in October, and then you have 2 months to find a high quality present that you know that the “unsuspecting” recipient actually wants in December.

As a new entrant to the third phase of Christmas, my overriding feeling is that I really only want a limited number of presents for the kids. I also desperately hoped that each time they opened a present that they would play with it for an hour or so before they thought about the next gift to unwrap (this was, thankfully, how it worked out with Maxime this year). In an ideal world I would also love to get to the stage where after the receipt of a new toy or at a point in time just afterwards, then there is a selection of an old toy that can be given to some other child who is not as lucky….but maybe that’s me being just too much of a dreamer… As for presents for me in this new third phase? Well if I am going to get presents, then I still hanker for a small number of quality ones. I also genuinely don’t mind if they come in the January sales. If anything the thing that struck me is that who actually gave me the present is what is important. There are certain people who could buy me absolutely anything, even dull black socks and an awful badly fitting cardigan (illustrative example only you realize!), and I’d just be happy that it was that particular individual who offered me something. The other thing which struck me this year is that now, after 3 kids, I have a much greater appreciation of the time it takes for someone to go and actually buy, wrap up and transport (or search online, purchase and get delivered) a present. This year, this new third experience also represented a shift of stress between the generations. In the past it has always been my and Sandie’s parents who have had the stress of organizing Christmas. This year everyone came to us and I have to say it worked very well. It certainly relieved the stress on the parents and they had a great time. Thankfully for Sandie and me the Christmas stress this year was bearable (especially because Mum came back to clean the house on Boxing Day), so maybe this year has served to identify a few new key ingredients for a successful Christmas recipe for the years to come.