New Year's Diet?

Since I stopped playing football I’ve always weighed in at around 77KG. On the 1st January last year I weighed 77.3KG. I’ll check tomorrow to see if I managed to lose that recalcitrant excess over the course of 2011 (note I am still contemplating a late night bike ride in my garage just to be sure), just don’t ask me to even think about doing any muscle tone comparisons…. Maybe one day when the kids are a lot older that might be a possibility…

The Gift of Giving

I had wanted to publish this particular post before Christmas Day but three kids and a sleep deprived wife put paid to that idea… I was thinking about the whole present giving thing which is obviously very common at this time of year. It’s interesting now seeing it, and Christmas more generally, from a new, third perspective. The first perspective is mainly the receiving of presents and the wider Christmas experience (childhood), the second is much more focused on the exchange of presents and where you contribute to making Christmas happen (early adulthood), and the third is as a parent where you are often watching other (very generous) people giving presents to your prodigy, and where you are much more involved in the providing of the Christmas experience.

During that first experience I recall the quantity of presents being the most important thing – my brothers and I always counted up our “main” (not stocking filler) presents each year, and then tried to eke them out over not just Christmas Day, but also Boxing Day and even December 27th in some years.

In the second phase the quality of the present became much more important; I am a firm believer in the system that my family-in-law have instituted over the last few years where you pull a single name out of a hat in September, then everybody writes a letter to Santa Claus in October, and then you have 2 months to find a high quality present that you know that the “unsuspecting” recipient actually wants in December.

As a new entrant to the third phase of Christmas, my overriding feeling is that I really only want a limited number of presents for the kids. I also desperately hoped that each time they opened a present that they would play with it for an hour or so before they thought about the next gift to unwrap (this was, thankfully, how it worked out with Maxime this year). In an ideal world I would also love to get to the stage where after the receipt of a new toy or at a point in time just afterwards, then there is a selection of an old toy that can be given to some other child who is not as lucky….but maybe that’s me being just too much of a dreamer… As for presents for me in this new third phase? Well if I am going to get presents, then I still hanker for a small number of quality ones. I also genuinely don’t mind if they come in the January sales. If anything the thing that struck me is that who actually gave me the present is what is important. There are certain people who could buy me absolutely anything, even dull black socks and an awful badly fitting cardigan (illustrative example only you realize!), and I’d just be happy that it was that particular individual who offered me something. The other thing which struck me this year is that now, after 3 kids, I have a much greater appreciation of the time it takes for someone to go and actually buy, wrap up and transport (or search online, purchase and get delivered) a present. This year, this new third experience also represented a shift of stress between the generations. In the past it has always been my and Sandie’s parents who have had the stress of organizing Christmas. This year everyone came to us and I have to say it worked very well. It certainly relieved the stress on the parents and they had a great time. Thankfully for Sandie and me the Christmas stress this year was bearable (especially because Mum came back to clean the house on Boxing Day), so maybe this year has served to identify a few new key ingredients for a successful Christmas recipe for the years to come.

Christmas Turkey?

When on the 23rd December the highlight of your day is heading off to the supermarket to do some food shopping at 8.15 in the evening, then you can easily judge the quality of the last 24 hours. After getting up at 6AM to get some good quality work done, things then started to go badly with my key present having to be taken back to the shop where it was purchased because Mrs. O’Brien had read the small print in the instruction manual, as opposed to the large print written on the outside of the box, and decided that it didn’t cut the mustard. By midday, one step back to take two forward quickly felt like one step back to take another three backwards as I carefully crossed off a number of things on my to do list that will just have to wait until January. Thankfully mother in law present purchasing was delegated in the afternoon meaning I could actually complete my working day. After a few more relatively successful hours of work, the tired and cranky twins dominated the end of the afternoon – the only glimmer of light was a quick visit to speak to my bank manager (and you thought enjoying going shopping was bad!). As for the evening event? Well the supermarket was absolutely mobbed with huge numbers of French people trying to buy foie gras, alcohol and supermarket grade aftershave, so in an effort to maintain my sanity, I made sure I took my time and bought an extra bar of Nestle chocolate to eat as I glided around the aisles of Carrefour. I’m now very much looking forward to going to see Pich in Orthez with Maxime tomorrow morning!

Forward Thinking

I suppose with only two shopping days left before Christmas it's time I stopped doing emails and did my bit to stave off a double dip recession.... Thankfully I'm not completely starting from scratch, but it promises to be a fun two days. Motto for the next 48 hours: Keep calm and carry on....

It’s Christmas, roll out the lonely Belgians

We are now home in Biarritz from Pau for Christmas. It’s going to be a family affair, and with both grandmothers and a culinary competent au pair close by, it promises to be very much a gastronomic gathering. As a sort of preventative action, I’ve already set up the bike trainer in the garage. So far I’ve done the Belgian Tour of Flanders twice over the last two days (and ridden the horse once). Seeing video images and the funny red bricks of Belgium always brings back happy memories, and hearing the music that I used to listen to during the spell I lived there (predominantly Mika...), brings an additional smile to my face. It’s just a shame that I’m all on my own in my garage – surely it would be more fun to actually go out riding with someone else, if only the rain would just stop…

The Generation Game

Last night I had to pick my Dad up from the hospital after a routine check-up. It was funny because after 21 plus years of being completely dependent, and then a further 13 of semi-dependence/independence (which obviously will continue now there are three small grandchildren running around), for the first time it was me taking him under my wing as I signed his discharge form to allow me to take him home. However before I start to think that I am ascending to the head of the family or anything like that, Maxime brought me back down to earth this morning when he started making very sensible suggestions even before I managed to think about them e.g. the idea to put some cold milk in a mug of too hot hot chocolate. Maybe when Maxime realizes that running around in public half naked isn’t socially acceptable then we can install him as our new patriarch.

Exhibitionist Saturday

My Dad named my regular Saturday trips with Maxime to the riding stables following by McDonalds our "Naughty Saturday". Yesterday, when I found Maxime running around half naked (the wrong half) in the McDonalds (outside) childrens' play area because his trousers were supposedly wet (something he hates), I thought a better name for our outings might be "Exhibitionist Saturday". Thankfully another thing that I've learnt by having three kids is to not be ashamed by this type of thing. We calmly put the underpants and trousers back on, and then finished our ice creams.

Having 3 kids helps you...

Learn how to survive on more disrupted and generally less sleep, lose all semblance of muscle tone, keep your weight down simply by being constantly on the go, learn how to appreciate leftover food (the unfinished meals of your children), learn how to not do emails at the weekend, learn how to multi-task (preparing microwave meals with one child under the other arm or combining child with riding competitions), learn how to prioritize (which one of these three crying children do I need to pick up first), learn what self sacrifice really means, learn that drying yourself with a wet towel after everyone else has had a bath is not the end of the world, find points in common with other people e.g. clients or anyone you happen to cross in a doctor’s waiting room or hospital accident and emergency department, be at peace with a permanently untidy house, learn about idle threats and to only say what you feel confident about being able to carry out, be less picky about food (anything is good so long as it is hot and manages to cover at least 2 of the major food groups), watch less TV, see your friends less, drink less alcohol, see your parents and parents-in-law more, drink more alcohol, read less, keep up to date with current affairs less, talk with your partner less, enjoy business trips more (more sleep and time to think), enjoy business trips less (it’s not nice to be away from them), learn where the washing machine is, do your weekly shopping more quickly, pay more for your weekly shopping and appreciate 10 minutes of peace and quiet more.

Time for a decision

After my recent trip to South Africa where we are trying to decide our exact plans for 2012, and as the Euro crisis rumbles on with no particular (happy) end in sight, something that has struck me a lot is the importance of timing of any particular decision. There are always multiple ways to skin any particular cat and the decision outcomes can be varied, but it is clear that whether or not a decision you take is the right one rests heavily on the exact moment the decision is taken. In turn, this also means that it may well be quite valid to reopen, or even reverse, a previously taken decision if key assumptions are different at a later point in time. This doesn’t naturally sit easy with someone like me who has a “tick box” or “cross it off the to-do list” type mentality, but I suppose it’s just something else you learn, or at least start to appreciate better, as you move through life.

The Peoples' Birthday Weekend

The weekend was really good and we had most of the grandparents and au pairs across from Biarritz for cheese and chocolate cake to celebrate Maxime’s birthday. In actual fact Maxime’s birthday is today, the 5th, but we told him it was yesterday for the sake of simplicity…such blatant manipulation of the population felt like I was being some autocratic Soviet or Ex-Communist government, but on reflection it definitely served a (worthy) purpose. I hasten to add that I do have the people’s best interests at heart, and this is definitely not a case of me plundering my country for my own ends; in fact the only plundering done this weekend was Maxime who ended up receiving a huge number of presents, (virtually all of which seemed to be related to the Walt Disney Pixar film “Cars”),…hmmm there go our attempts to avoid having a spoilt brat. As it turned out Maxime was an absolute delight with his presents – he took his time opening each, and played with it before opening the next. He also spontaneously went around the house just before bedtime to thank people “for the day”, and give them each a kiss – it was such a good and heartwarming performance on his part, that only now do I realize it was just another delaying tactic to avoid going to bed (with his new “Cars” night light of course). That boy really is nobody’s fool.

Corporate and Entrepreneurial Parenting

This morning sees the end to my 3 days in charge of the household after Sandie came back home late last night after going off to Paris on Monday for work. Final result: Children still alive: 3, children deceased: 0, exhausted au pairs: 1, loads of washing: 16, visits to the doctor: 1 (Capcuine), average hours sleep per night: 6.5, number of work emails in my EMC inbox at the end of each day: 8, visits to the physio: 2 (Gaston), chocolate yoghurts eaten: 8 (Maxime), number of horses ridden: 1 (Papa), and number of black eyes: 1 (Gaston after falling out the car).

My key takeaways from the whole experience were that over the long run, one person can’t realistically manage 3 kids by themselves – given the jobs Sandie and I do, an au pair is an absolute necessity for us. Secondly, that whilst one is constantly busy with three kids, if you are just a tiny bit organized, then you can save yourself huge amounts of stress e.g. get up before the kids and be showered and dressed before the first cries of papa, maman – being ready for them means you can really focus on getting them out the door for 8.30AM. The other key bit of organization is always having their clothes ready for the next big event e.g. after they’ve gone to school, I put the 3 sets of pyjamas out in bathroom a whole 10 hours before they are actually required, and just as they are hitting the hay, I make sure they have full outfits laid out in the bathroom for the next day. I also removed the spontaneity of the weekly shop…when I went shopping I bought 7x2 evening meals, 7x3 pots of yoghurt or puree, 7x4 pain au laits (3 packets of 10), and at least 4 litres of fresh milk just because that never goes to waste. That, if you like, is what I refer to as “Corporate Parenting” – 12 years of working in big organizations has taught me the need to be organized and structured. However what I have also seen over the course of the last 3 days is that if you want to stay vaguely sane and not become just another expert of dirty nappies and hot milk, that whenever a chance to do something that you want to do presents itself e.g. read the Economist for 10 minutes, go for a run, ride a horse, then you must grab it with both hands, otherwise the window of opportunity closes just as quickly as it opened. This is what I will now call “Entrepreneurial Parenting”, and I am sure that the whole experience of the last 3 days will help me in my work life to be readier to respond to those little opportunities that present themselves….just so long as I’ve managed to get just a little bit more sleep.

All Good Things

Last Sunday saw the final show jumping competition of the season. I was delighted to have a double clear round – i.e. no bars down in either of the classes that I rode in. The minor change to Pich’s equipment, basically some new boots for his hind legs which force him to jump just a little bit higher, seem to have done his trick…(who said a bad workman blames his tools?)! After that little success it’s just a shame that the season has come to an end. It’s also a shame that I got flashed as I was driving home, and will no doubt get a speeding fine and lose a point on my license. Now that really did take the spring out of my step.