The Pace of Life

If I had deeper skills in mathematics, greater intelligence or more patience then I am sure it would be possible to develop a nice formula for the pace at which we should live life depending on a certain number of inputs or variables that can be entered depending on the individual. Unfortunately my deficiencies in these areas mean that the only option left open to me is a rambling blog posting.

The only firm conclusion that I have reached is that rightly or wrongly, we are expected to and do live the different phases of our lives at different paces. Whilst Maxime clearly lives his life in short bursts of energy, the overall pace is a very relaxed one – it’s difficult to argue otherwise when you sleep for up to 15 hours a day. At the other end of the spectrum, I’ve recently started to think more about death (nothing to do with a broken arm and a sick wife I assure you). I remember speaking to my Glasgow Gran before she died – she seemed very at ease with the idea of her pace of life coming to a complete standstill; maybe that’s the best way to die.

It’s the bits in the middle of these two extremes that I’d like to have a formula for…is it simply a case of life speeding up through childhood, your early professional career and the moment of starting a family until your mid-life crisis; before it then slows down as you take in what’s around you, rue your lack of physical wellbeing and prepare yourself for the inevitable big red stop sign? I don’t think it’s this simple, and I also think we should realise that we are making choices all along the way, even if we are doing this subconsciously.

Thinking back to my childhood I always remember the focus being on playing football with boys who were older than you – if you were 16 and playing against 19 year olds then you knew you were doing something right. Schools often like their pupils to do some of the core exams a year early to allow them to focus on the other subjects during the normal examination year. We also always laud those 12 and 15 year olds who get accepted to university (even if behind closed doors people secretly say that such pupils must be oddballs who won’t really take advantage of all of the benefits of university life i.e. getting p!ssed with other 18 year olds). On the other hand, you often hear of people complaining that kids are growing up too quickly these days (or maybe that’s the parents who are no longer able to keep up as they wish to slow the pace of their own lives). On balance, I would say that childhoods should be lived at an up-tempo speed…anything less seems to me to be a waste of good health and free (parental) money. I’m not sure if my wife would agree – she used to come home at lunch time for a siesta during the school day….

That period between leaving home (around 18) until you start your family is an interesting one (around 30). It seems that those people who are most successful as students who are those who are mature beyond their years, and who can understand what they are studying in terms of its impact in the real world, rather than simply from the perspective of the dry 1000 page textbook (it took me 3 years at university to work that one out). Again, it’s probably wise to be a bit precocious. The same was definitely true at the outset of a professional career, at least for me. The early years were fun but a bit of a grind really – I always thought the more interesting stuff came when you got a bit more responsibility. However it’s only after 10 years of the rat race that I’ve started to realise that the pace at which you choose to live life is only in part chosen by you…..I couldn’t have the same level of responsibility at 26 as I have now at 32 – life and people (including clients) around me demand greater maturity and experience than that I possessed 6 years ago. The other thing which I've talked about on this blog is my increased awareness of the need to slow down every now and then in an effort to be an effective leader. I think this is all part of the wider pace of life question. Overall I think you can go quickly at least initially, but you can’t “bruler les étapes” as they say in France, and you probably shouldn't want to either.

I think that the idea of a change in the pace of life being forced upon you is even more important as soon as you start having a family. The little munchkins just can’t stay awake all day and they genuinely object to cold, wet weather at horse shows in November. Maybe that’s what I struggled with most at the announcement of twins – the additional loss of control over the pace at which I had wanted to live life (I always knew I was a control freak). The upcoming slow down with a second child was manageable, having numbers two and three in one go just seems, at the minute, like jumping on the breaks (a feeling that is only magnified by having a broken arm)…..

As for the period between starting a family and the big red stop sign, I’m not sure yet. My fascination with this period revolves around when people think they are sufficiently secure financially to be able to take the foot off the pedal, and how this judgement call may have to change for my generation given the sovereign debt crises that are unlikely to abate any time soon.